Deodorant Zebra Stripes

Every morning I put on my deodorant before I put on my shirt. I would rather take the risk of getting deodorant (zebra) stripes on the outside of my shirt than stretch out or wrinkle my shirt by stuffing my hand up to my armpit to put on the deodorant after I put on my shirt.

This morning I put on a form fitting black shirt and was pretty sure that no matter how careful I was, I would have some zebra stripes on my shirt. It didn't bother me too much because I know how to get them off. It reminded of a girl in college that I shared a class with. She was sitting close enough for me to hear another classmate discreetly point out to her that she had deodorant stripes on her shirt. The girl turned red and muttered, "How embarrassing," as she quickly tucked in her shirt. I remembered thinking that tucking in the shirt looked worse, and that I should go over and tell her how to get the stripes off. However, I didn't want to embarrass her further by pointing it out, so I didn't tell her. I've always felt bad that I didn't tell her the trick, so I am going to pass the information along to you and hopefully clear my conscience.

When you spot the stripes, you want to rub them out with a DRY (dry, dry, dry, make sure it's dry) towel. If you spot it later in the day and don't have a towel around, you can use another DRY article of clothing to rub it away (cotton will work the best, silk not so much). You can even pull up the bottom hem of the shirt you are wearing and use that to rub it away. It kind of "dilutes" it, or rubs it in so that you can't see it anymore.

Did I mention that you need the material to be DRY? Because you know that deodorant blocks out the wetness, right? So it will hold firm if you try to rub it out with a wet towel. Just checking.

Dole Squirt Cups

I was a Freshman in college when I was introduced to the Dole Fruit Cup. I loved them because it was an easy way to eat some extra fruit every day, and helped to justify my other lunch snack choice: a TastyKake or Little Debbie. I did NOT love them because when I opened them up, they would squirt juice on my shirt or all over my hand. The juice is clear so it didn't stain my shirt, but it made me feel like such a dufus around all my lunch buddies. In order to keep The Dole Company on my good side, I had to figure out how to cleanly open the fruit cups. One option I have found is to ALWAYS open the cup away from me. With this option, I always make sure I am not sitting across from someone I like, otherwise they might de-friend me if I get the juice on them instead. The other option is to pierce the top plastic seal with a knife or fork to let the air out (which causes the squirt in the first place).

Have you come up with any other tricks for opening fruit cups?

How to Carry Two Plates on One Arm

It is lunchtime and you fill 3 plates with food for you and the two hungry little girls who are in the living room with their trays on their laps, waiting to get their bellies full. You are faced with the dilemma of how to carry the three plates to the living room in the most efficient way. You can either make two trips, or try to balance the three plates in your two arms. The latter most likely results in a dropped plate, an hour trip to the living room gingerly walking while balancing the teetering third plate, or you get a food line on your shirt where you leaned the third plate’s rim on your belly in an effort to stop it from teetering.
There is a way to carry two of the three plates on your one arm. I promise that once you master this, you can do twirls on your way to the living room and the plates will stay in place. I have even done this maneuver with hot soups and filled coffee cups on saucers and have never scalded myself (please say a prayer that I did not just jinx myself). The trick is to get your palm very flat so that the plate is not leaning to one side. Spread your hand out as wide as it will go with your palm side up. Take the lightest or smallest of the three plates and stick it on top of your pointer, middle, and ring fingers. You then hold it in place with your thumb and pinky fingers still spread out as far as they will go on the plate, so that your palm is flat and not leaning to one side. Then, take one of the other plates and plant it on your palm so that it stays secure. Please see the following pictures and PRACTICE!

A Part-Time Job for Coffee Filters

I don’t drink coffee. Neither does Danny. However, we still registered for a coffee maker when we got married. I believe the reason was, “for when we have guests over who drink coffee.” That reason is very valid, except that to make coffee for guests who come over, you actually have to buy coffee, and creamer, and coffee filters, and probably some sort of artificial sweetener (which I only did once when my parents came to visit me for my college graduation in Virginia in 2003). The other two times my now 8.5 year old coffee maker was used was when I had birthday parties at my house and my Mother-in-Law brought a little baggie of coffee so that she and the other coffee drinkers could have their fix with their cake. I have to admit that I don’t actually know how my coffee maker works. My coffee filters are also probably as old as the coffee maker. I don’t know if that makes for bad coffee, but they are still good for the only use I have for them: cleaning windows, mirrors, and silverware for streak-free shine. There may be a great micro fiber cloth to keep streaks away from mirrors and windows, but I know regular towels leave streaks, and paper towels often leave fuzz. Next time you clean your windows or mirrors (with glass cleaner, of course) try it with a coffee filter and you will be pleased with the lack of streaks. They are also great for polishing not-completely-dried-yet silverware.